๐ ๐ด๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ป๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ช๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ค๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ: ๐๐ฐ๐ธ ๐๐ฏ๐ท๐ช๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ด ๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฆ ๐ข ๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ฅโ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐๐ฐ๐ธ ๐๐ฆ ๐๐ข๐ฏ ๐๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฆ ๐๐ช๐ง๐ง๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ญ๐บ
Children are shaped far more by what surrounds them than by what we say to them.
And when I talk about โenvironment,โ I donโt just mean physical spaceโI mean energy. The mood in the room. The tone in a parentโs voice. The chaos or calm of a routine. These things speak louder than words, and children are always listening, even when no oneโs speaking.
Thereโs a lot going on in the world right now. And while we often ask, โHow are kids coping?โ maybe the real question is:
How is all of this shaping them?
Iโve worked with children for nearly 14 years, and of course, I was once a child too. I remember clearly what it felt like to grow up in three overlapping worlds:
โข the world my family created,
โข the world my environment imposed,
โข and the world I created in my mind to survive and make sense of it all.
It was a lot to hold. It felt like too much sometimes.
And even now as an adult, I can still feel the echoes of that.
Thatโs the thing about childhoodโit never fully leaves us.
The energy we were raised in, the things we felt but couldnโt explain, the way we were treated or ignored or upliftedโฆ those memories live deep in us. They influence how we love, how we trust, how we move through the world.
But hereโs something I want every adult and parent to hear:
We donโt have to be a product of what we grew up in.
We can choose differently.
We can create better soilโfor ourselves, and for the children weโre raising or teaching today.
Environments Teach Silently
Whether we realise it or not, our environment is always teaching. It teaches through body language, through moods, through routines and habits. Children pick up on stress. They feel joy. They notice tone. They absorb more from whatโs around them than whatโs told to them.
And in todayโs world, that teaching is constant.
Screens, influencers, algorithmsโtheyโve become some of our childrenโs loudest teachers. And while some of it can be positive, letโs be real: a lot of it is not.
So again, we ask:
What is my child absorbing every dayโwithout me even realising?
Repetition Becomes Identity
Children repeat what they see.
If they see calm, creativity, and kindness regularly, they begin to reflect it.
If theyโre surrounded by chaos, criticism, or fear, that becomes their normal.
And normal becomes identity.
Even if you say to a child, โYou are safe, you are loved, you are enoughโโif the environment doesnโt reflect that, itโs hard for those words to take root.
But when the environment does support those messages?
Thatโs when children truly begin to believe in themselves.
Teaching Alone Isnโt Enough
We canโt teach values in a vacuum.
We canโt talk about confidence, self-worth, or peace if everything around a child says the opposite.
A child whoโs told, โYou can do anything,โ but constantly hears yelling, criticism, or fear will internalise doubtโnot courage.
And again, I say this with love:
If we want to see a different outcome in our children, we need to look at the space around them first.
Change the Soil, Not Just the Seed
The most powerful thing?
You donโt always have to โfixโ the child.
Sometimes you just need to change whatโs around them.
A nurturing routine.
A break from the noise.
A week at a camp that offers connection and inspiration.
A quiet, safe space just for them to be themselves.
These things donโt just change a moment. They can change a childโs inner world.
Ask Yourself:
โข What energy surrounds my child right now?
โข What are they unintentionally absorbing every day?
โข Is their environment in alignment with the person I hope they become?
And most importantlyโฆ
Is it aligned with the person Iโm trying to become, too?
Final Thought
The most powerful memories of childhood arenโt always the big ones.
Sometimes itโs the smallest, quietest patterns that leave the deepest marks.
The way someone made us feel in the morning.
The way our home sounded after school.
The tone in our house at bedtime.
Those memories stay.
But they donโt have to define us forever.
We can break cycles. We can choose differently.
And for our children?
We can offer something betterโby being intentional with the space we create around them.
Because when we change the environmentโฆ
We often donโt need to change the child.
See you next week for more 5-Minute Thoughts, where youโll get the Evolve Perspectiveโsmall reads, big shifts in how we see childhood and learning.
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