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We love our kids and want to give them everything we didnβt have β including less struggle. But had we not struggled, would we be where we are today? Sometimes in trying to make life easier for them, weβre quietly making it harder in the long run. Struggle isnβt a punishment. Itβs practice. Itβs preparation. Itβs how confidence is built β not from being told you can, but from realising, βI just did.β
The Myth of Ease: Why Struggle Is Necessary
We love our kids and want to give them all the things we never had growing up. And often, that means we also want to protect them from the struggles we had. But hereβs the truth: had we not struggled, would we even be where we are today? Would we be able to give them the life we now provide?
Modern parenting often tries to make things easier for kids. It comes from love, of course β a desire to support and nurture β but sometimes, we unintentionally weaken their capacity for growth.
Watching my preschoolers, I see this play out all the time. Theyβll try any shortcut to get the task done quickly, often skipping the process just to get to the reward: playtime. And no, itβs not nice watching your friends play while youβre still finishing your work. But thatβs what happens when we avoid doing hard things β we miss out on real growth, on the pride of completion.
That same child, though, often glows with pride and self-discovery once they finally finish. They realise it wasnβt so bad after all β βWow, I can do this,β they say. It was hardβ¦ but they evolved.
Hard Things = Growth Opportunities
As mentioned above, difficult tasks develop patience, grit, and flexibility. Many of my younger students cry when they donβt get something right the first time. But after another attempt or two? The tears disappear, confidence grows, and theyβre ready to try something new.
We need to get rid of the idea that being good at something means getting it right the first time. That belief haunted my own childhood. Discipline is not a punishment β itβs a toolkit for resilience.
Discipline Is a Muscle, Not a Trait
Discipline, Iβve learned the hard way, is a game-changer. Itβs one of the most important things we should be teaching our children. Just like building physical strength or getting through a tough phase in life, discipline must be practised.
Simple daily habits β like doing chores, journaling, setting screen time limits, or meditating β help strengthen this muscle. Science backs this up: discipline improves self-control, focus, and long-term motivation.
From Resistance to Openness
Children who are allowed to struggle and overcome become more open to new experiences. Theyβre not afraid to try.
Iβm living proof of this. I still have fears. I still doubt myself. But Iβve lived in three countries, performed on stage, and started a company on my own. And all of it started with just trying. Those hard things didnβt break me β they built me. Each small win gave me the courage to step into the unknown again and again.
Sign up for something hard and finish.
Real-World Readiness
Doing hard things in childhood doesnβt mean enduring trauma. It means not giving up at the first failed attempt. It means encouraging kids to try again even when itβs scary. Itβs about introducing them to new people, places, and situations that stretch them.
These experiences give them real-life skills: responsibility, time management, teamwork, adaptability. In short β the exact things theyβll need as adults.
Real Life Stories
At Camp Evolve, we had a young boy who was hesitant about everything. I saw a reflection of my younger self in him. If he thought he wouldnβt be good at something, he didnβt even want to try.
But five days of simple encouragement β βJust try. Itβs okay.β β changed something in him. He started to believe heβd be okay. He became more confident. He made friends. He realised he wasnβt the only one with quirks β everyone has them β and everyone also has strengths that shine in different ways.
And look at Michael Jordan. Still admired by kids today, he was famously rejected from his high school basketball team. But he didnβt quit β he doubled down. His success was earned through dedication and resilience, not overnight talent.
Michael Jordan Quote.
What Parents and Educators Can Do
Let kids fail safely. Donβt rescue them too quickly β let them sit with the discomfort and learn from it.
Encourage trying before helping. When they ask for help, ask: βWhat have you tried so far?β
Praise effort, not just results. A child who keeps going deserves celebration.
Pick βjust-rightβ challenges. Not too easy, not too overwhelming β just enough to stretch.
Expose them to new people, places, and experiences. These build adaptability and courage.
Model discipline. Show your own routines and how you stick to them, even when you donβt feel like it.
This is how we raise kids who are brave, capable, and ready for life β not just academically, but emotionally and socially too. Let them struggle. Let them rise.
Because the hard things? They build everything.
See you next week for more 5-Minute Thoughts, where youβll get the Evolve Perspectiveβsmall reads, big shifts in how we see childhood and learning.
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